That Way, Iteration 2

do you think my writing tone will be clearer

if you listen to me read a piece aloud?

…

also this is a cool way, imo, of documenting my voice transition!

you can totes hear my pitch variance

12

so like i said before, i do ethical non-monogamy now

kim and i are in agreement

…

anyways i was seeing a married guy for a while

not often (though he wanted more, #hornyboy)

but my work contract ended, life got busy with family stuff and i met kim

anyways i genuinely like the guy, he’s very intelligent and erudite

and he engages with me when i wanna talk

kind of a great semi-boyfriend, tbh

his thingie was good too

…

this isn’t an ethical dilemma post

hes going to cheat if he wants to, his cheating is on him

im not doing anything wrong

arguing that im “hurting” his wife is absurd

he is hurting her. i was living my life and casually seeing a man i like

my proportionate fault is 0%, imo

totally comfortable with it

….

oh right, part of the deal was exclusivity

i was his only sidepiece

and i dont do anything that creates STD risk3

….

anyways ive been pretty ace recently

and any energy i have, as expected, goes towards kim :)

so i was like “im not gonna wanna do this enough”

and he was like “thanks for being honest ima hit up grindr now”

and i was like “tell me the good stories”

and so we’re just snap buds now

how many people do you like more than you like me?

because im wearing a crown

and deep down, you know it4

why do you think i changed my moniker to Qveen Mika!

the remix is always better than the original5

because nature is powerful, especially to women

because other women recognize my gaia-tilt

because its aggressively femme

and obviously cuz i look forking GREAT in floral

just got this shirt today (2022/10/21)

i always liked erotic stories

i mean, video was great too

but there’s something about good erotica or gonewildaudio

…

statistically that’s a super femme preference

and it’s gotten increasingly strong since i went all estrogen on myself

i gots to have my emotional content

maybe a little dash of cheeky humor

some saucy wordplay, ya know?

is that too much to ask for?

…

point is, i can’t do sex absent emotional content

and i like it that way

because deep down, that’s the way i’ve always been

i was just forcing myself to be “manly” before

its really strange how much smiling feminizes your presentation

for example, do you talk while smiling? often?

its actually a little bit straining at some point

i like confusing people

i like being on stage

i like being performative

and im non-binary

so being androgynous is fun

…

look, deep down im worried that my face is irretrievably masculine

imo if i don’t emote, i look deeply boyish

and while my boyishness makes it easier for me to hit androgynous

it makes it harder for me to pass

im also wearing a bra but you can’t see it

..

honestly tho…

i dont care much about passing

if someone refuses to recognize my chosen identity, cool

i just wont interact with them

and if they discriminate against me

i will sue them, duh

...

lol i got off track

look, ill like, write more about this at some point

but i actually identify as trans-femme non-binary

meaning (just for me ok?) i am transitioning hormones and identity

but i dont identify as a “woman” either

i identify as a transwoman, or colloquially, a gurl

..

actually im gonna write this up now

…

non-binary 1

learning new words is so scary!!!

(i definitely don’t do it at work and from TV constantly)

…

learning new words is so scary!!!

i mean, my grandchild is 5 and learns dozens a week

but my brain “doesn’t learn new things”

because i have toxic beliefs about my own mental competency

and i feel overwhelmed by the rate of technological and societal change

so i’ve retreated into the comfortable echo chamber of cable news

and refuse to try to learn

lest i fail

(and be humiliated??? by your child?? who will appreciate the effort?!?!?!)

…

lemme restart with less acid

…

binary

man or women

you’re one, or the other

sure, you can be a tomboy or a femboi

but tomboys are still women and fembois are still men, get it?

…

bisexuality

you dont have to just be gay, or just be straight

you can like both classical genders

…

kinsey rating

1 means exclusively hetero

6 means exclusively homo

its a spectrum

…

non-binary 2

gender is a spectrum to many people (e.g. me)

…

omnisexual

i like you and you and her and him and them and everyone, k? (also me)

…

they

male and female are medical classifications

assigned male at birth —> genitalia = penis

assigned female at birth —> genitalia = vagina

men and women

are social classifications

that carry a tide of stereotypes and expectations with them

that you’ve lived with your whole life AND

the older You are, the more those contours feel right and not artificial

…

non-binary 3

some people dont want either label

can you blame them?!

they think the social conditioning is BS

they don’t wanna be treated “like a girl” or “like a boy”

they wanna be treated “like a person”

that isn’t much to ask, imo

respect their self-determination

….

screw Fate 2

birth gender is just a physical preset

not a brain chemistry or emotional preset

my spirit was DEMANDING i change

and i finally did

kim has started taking photos on shutter mode

i’m experimenting with different 5 second expression sequences

honestly i love glamming and have a ton of fun choosing photos!!

anyways lets see if i can match this photo from the first iteration

you read me because, inside your head

you hear me talking to you in person

sharing my stories and thoughts with you one on one

….

this writing style is meant to be human

to be intimate between us

i want to tell you what happened to me

how it affected me

and how i ended up here

..

this is my story and i wanna share

….

why?

is a good question

but you only get one answer per post, i guess

i mean i make the rules so this is like, totes arbitrary?

its fun to narrate my own work!!!!

im gonna do this more!