This is still a romance substack

I really love this draft and hope you will too! reader poll at the end!

This might take months to finish. This is draft 2/4. The first 3 sections are ~the same. Otherwise, I’ve edited, expanded or revised every existing scene, completely changed certain themes, and added 9 new sections.

Massive revision of the “women fighting over a man” scene. It’s worth reading.

These are commentary blocksif you ignore them, you're missing the other stories I'm writing

This an amalgam of stories, some mine, some others and some wholly fictional.

I Was His Sidepiece and I Loved It

Do y'all think "I Was His Sidepiece and I Loved It" is a good title? It feels maybe too aggro? But I mean, it's the erotica market. I'll probably change it dozens of times.Honestly y'all, this one makes me crack up sooooo hard. "Sidepiece"!!! omg I'm dying rn. This is such a bad title it circles around to being inspired.

we met in law school, during orientation

we didn’t interact much, and I think I spoke to him once during the fall quarter

…

then we sat next to each other in Civil Procedure

that’s a super boring topic

so we talked a lot and soon we were best friends

…

we spent hours together every day

at school, and then gaming on Discord in the evening

one day we were at my study carrel

and he lent over to use my mouse and show me something

and I…

I saw him in a different light 😈

….

he smelt really good (IF you know what I mean)

simple and succinct drop-in

i actually do prefer to be a sidepiece with men, partnered men are less likely to get overly attached to me

hey dude! Sorry I took so long to get on Discord, was trying to cook a good dinner for once lol

What were you making?

That chicken curry you recommended. Good recommendation.

Did you use a sous vide?

why do you want me to buy a sous vide so bad?

Dude, it’s the best. Cook a week of chicken.

thanks r/fitnessadvice

*laughingly* Shut up, dude.

[big smile]

so when do you wanna hit the gym this week?

I was planning to do MWF. Back and core on Monday.

I’ll skip Monday and join you for the rest.

Dude, it’s unhealthy to not work your back and core.

yeah yeah yeah… fine I’ll come Monday.

Nice. You’ve been coming a lot more recently.

Dunno. Just really wanted my body to feel healthier. Get more flexible, too.

I’m glad! The gym is always more fun if you’ve got a workout partner.

Yeah it’s lot a fun.

You’re definitely showing some results! The squats are really paying off.

*blushing*

Really?

Yeah it’s definitely noticeable, dude.

Well I gotta keep going then!

I'm still so proud of the "thanks r/fitnessadvice" lineI said it to him like a decade ago fr fr fr

So yeah, she takes pole dancing lessons.

so she’s good in bed?

Really good lol. Flexible, creative and emotive. Dancers, right?

that makes sense

art imitates life, IF you know what I mean

Hey dude.

hey

sorry I didn’t call back earlier

It’s fine dude.

Are you ok? You haven’t come to the gym in weeks, you look like you aren’t sleeping and you’ve been missing classes.

I… I don’t know how to explain it

I’m sliding downhill

I don’t feel like I have any control over anything.

Meet me at the hot tub. I’ll drag you there if I have to. Talk it out while sweating it out. Ok?

can’t you just come to my apartment?

You need to leave the apartment.

I’m coming up there, you’re going to shower and then we’re going to the hot tub.

I promise you’ll feel better after, ok?

art imitates lifefyi, you aren't qualified to do talk therapyforce them to hang out, drag them outside, DO somethingpassively letting a depressed friend self-isolate makes you a bad friendsorry not sorry

I got V10.

you got V10?!!?

I got V10!!!

you got V10!!!!!!!

so cute

look, I know you're asking "where is the sex"?THIS IS A 12 YEAR RELATIONSHIP AND I WRITE REALISTIC TIMELINESif you're dying for the sexiest erotica this side of the Ganges, you can jump ~halfway down

[pending scene]

[pending scene]

hey dude. can we talk about something serious?

I really need someone to talk to

Of course. Should I come over?

I would really like that

…

…

I think I’m trans

Oh. OH.…When did you know?

always? one month ago?

depends on how you look at it

Do you mind telling me more about it?

*smiling*

I would really love to. Thank you, dude.

Anything for you, d-…

Have you chosen a name?

Mia

Anything for you, Mia.

if someone tells you they're transitioning, this is the appropriate responsethis is the first and only time a character receives a name why?because her name brings her to lifesome people need the right name to come alive

I got the clerkship!

You got the clerkship!!?!?!

I got the clerkship!!!!

You got the clerkship!!!!!!

SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEE

who even is James Comey?

Says he’s the current Director of the FBI.

uChicago grad?

Yeah. You don’t think he’ll be an interesting commencement speaker?

eh

I think one of his kids goes here.

ah, that explains it

they asked a bunch of people who said no

so we used his kid to convince him on short notice

Hey, maybe something interesting will happen in the future and we’ll be like “can you believe James Comey gave our commencement speech in 2015?”

he did tho fr fr fr

[pending]

[pending]

[pending]

You signed the offer letter?

yes!!! I start in late June

I can’t believe these jackasses thought I wouldn’t leave

I know lol. After all the money you made them on the intentional fraud stuff, you’d think they’d appreciate it.

It’s [that equity asshole] blocking my transfer because I helped push out [that junior asshole]

I’m certain of it

Well, now you’re at a much better shop making 60k more.

they’re gonna screw the pooch on [T?????] now

no one has any knowledge but me

they’d need to spend 100 hours with my notes and the documents

just to grasp the complexity, much less write a complaint

I coulda got $10 million out of that one

and at the blended hourly and the 25% contingency

probably $3 million for the firm

dumbasses

Let it go, Mia. It’s done.

ughhhh I know, I know, I know

..

I’m so excited we’ll be at the same firm!

Me too. Anything to make it more bearable.

I promise I will

This has 0 basis in reality, I swear. Absolutely none. Definitely not settling scores through the fictionalization of my own life.But if it were based in reality, they absolutely screwed the pooch.

[pending]

I know that

[pending]

[pending]

I know I need to re-write the next scene, but it's the first one I wrote and I don't wanna. Sorry

Hey Mia, how’s your day going?

It’s been great! My back has been killing me though.

*stretches and thereby thrusts boobs forward*

how is yours going?

Honestly?

of course!

Really terrible.

oh… let’s go to an empty conference room and talk about it?

if you want to

I do. ..Thank you.

anything for you, dude

………

I just feel overwhelmed here. Everything looks effortless for you.

How do you do that? How can you smile all the time?

I’m pretending

I don’t know if I have a better grip on everything going on

but I fake it a lot better than you

How? How can you smile and act so at ease?

because women are used to men watching us all the time

fortunately for me, I enjoy being watched

so I put on a little show and hope they'll give me what I want

Seriously?

that’s how it is

… I’m sorry that that’s how things are.

you’re not exempt either, dude

Yeah, but I don’t have to make nearly as many compromises.

you’re underestimating the number of compromises you’re making

[missing dialogue]

[missing dialogue]

[missing dialogue]

[missing dialogue]

[missing dialogue]

this is the start of the longest continuous scene by far

[how do I bridge here?]

maybe something like “if we hadn’t been friends for years, blah blah blah” and then she’s like “it’s because you met me when I was a guy and it’s hard to shake out of your head” and then he’s like “I’m sorry. You are really beautiful, you know that?” and kind of does a little lean in towards her, and she’s like “you are too” and strokes top of his hand with her fingers, and leans in too, and he’s maybe like “is this something you want?” and she’s like “yeah, you never noticed?” and he’s like—

Ohhhh. I’m so oblivious….

you are. but in a cute way

Do you still want to explore it?

DUH!!! I’ll close the curtains

this meeting room has the best noise cancelling

WOH I was talking about like, making out a bit, probably feel each other up.Jeez Mia, always so aggressive…

But if that’s what you want…

😈 I want

[missing dialogue]

what’s the worst that could happen? they fire you?

you hate it here

Can you be quiet?

I can definitely try to be quiet

(whispers to self) …this is so hot… shirt…

Let’s do it.

…

…

…

That was incredible Mia. I can’t believe this finally happened…

you wanted me, too?

for how long?

Remember that bar on 53rd and Madison we went to last November?

yeah!?

You leaned over me to grab a napkin and… is it weird to say there was something about how you smelled?

OMG NO!

that’s exactly it for me too

I smelled you and suddenly I was on fire

When?

2L

Awww you’ve had a crush on me for sooooo long.

omg stfu

*smiles**smile fades*

I just cheated on [redacted].

you did…

how are you feeling?

Not as bad as I thought I would?

heard that before

What?

don’t worry about it

But you two are already having problems?

Isn’t this just, icing on the cake?

I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I still feel wrong about cheating.

Will this bother [blank]?

I really doubt it

she’s always known about my crush on you

So you’re admitting you had a crush on me!

I swear to god I’ll gonna punch you in a second

Mia and me, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n—- *OOF*

I warned you!!!

… first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Mia with…

don’t say the next part

…a… Oh. I’m sorry babe.

*sniffles* 

it’s ok, that was a good bit until the end

Come here.

[cuddling intensifies]………

we should leave the conference room at some point

Holy shit. Wait, why has no one has shown up?

I booked the room for two hours when we came in and closed the blinds…

it was more fun if you thought someone could come in

Wow. You’re diabolical...How long do we have left?

😈

😈 is a smiling devil, i.e. HORNYcome on, give me credit for managing to completely skip their first time, and focus in on the bond-building and relationship dynamic!! don't worry you're about to get actual sex! depending on your definition of sex, that is

When is she getting back?

I asked her to stay out till 10

I’ll text her if we need more time

..

🥺

😈

You wanna smoke and watch [redacted] first?

whatever you want babe!

………

gentle!! you’re hitting my breast buds

stay on top of the nipple or squeeze from the base

nothing in between

Sorry! I didn’t know it would hurt! [fondling resumes]

*quiet cooing noises*

......Wait, what are breast buds?

.. what???

[fondling intensifies]

*ooooh (breathily)*

you jackass

..

promise not to stop?

Promise.

ok so when women undergo puberty

*ohhhhh-mmhmmm*

they grow breasts, right?

You lost me.

screw you dude

..

wait, why did you stop?

You’re being a little hostile…

omg seriously!?

Apologize please

(sarcastic) omg I’m so sorry, please forgive me

now will you pl—

*muffled laughter followed by moans*

Thank you for apologizing.……………

uh.hh.h.h…hhhhuaaa-oooo?

You’re welcome!

Robert Heinlein (one of the most influential sci-fi writers of all time) did this sort of ellipses storytelling (see, e.g., Stranger in a Strange Land). Westworld played the ellipses game perfectly in season 1. They got a lot worse over time lol.

[pending]

She got a job in SF, so we’re moving. Management already signed off on me transferring.

when?

Three weeks.

what does that mean for us…?

🥺

It means we finally get to spend nights together.

😌🥰

Never over-write perfect scenes

Never over-over-write pluuuperfect meta-commentary

I’ve got the app set up and linked. All ready to go.

How’s it going over there babe?

uhhh… almost in

… oooh…

*panting*

hoo-ooooo-unhhhh 

phew

ok, it’s in

….

are you ther——

waaahhhttttttheeeeefucccccc!???!

Gotcha!

turrnnnnnitttdownnnnnowww!!

I’m think I’m going to leave it on for a minute or two.

Grunt twice if you want me to stop.

*tentative grunt*

..

..

..

..

..

..

goooohighherrrr!

Dirty little slut.

oooohhhhyessssss

……..……..

when are you going to be in town next?

I think in a few weeks.

do you want to stay here?

I do.

That scene was taken from my own life. Do you remember what the sentence above said the first time? Both statements are true, just at different levels of detail. This is how lawyers avoid perjuring themselves.I have a good story about that. I should write it for GameTime (10/31/2023).

[pending]

[pending]

that was fast!

Mia!? Why would you point that out?! I was pent up! I haven’t had sex in over a month. Of course I was fast the first time!

calm down babe, I’m just teasing! I know all of that

Mean teasing.

awwwwwww poor boy

Did you…?

no

Ughhh I feel guity.

it was amazing for me

you know I’m not super into the big O!

I still don’t get it.

it’s too intense

it feels different for you

Was it different for you, before?

definitely

and I already started out on the intense side for cis males

How did you find that out? First “hand” experience? :P

that’s exactly how I did lol

anyways now they’re so intense they become painful

If I can’t finish fast, I don’t want to finish

Weird.

at least my brain, personality and self-control don’t go to shit if I live a few days without orgasm

Harsh!

don’t say I’m weird

yeah but you shouldn’t, ok?

I’m really sensitive to that word

Sorry. Thanks for telling me; I promise to remember.

thanks babe

🤗🤗🤗

just throwing in some basic lessons on politeness and human decency for older people that don't seem to understand politeness and/or human decency

seriously. your norms of decency and politeness are wildly offensive to younger generations. This is how society progresses. Not by clinging to "well I could say this when I was thirty and it didn't offend anyone".It did. It always did. Your politeness norms are not actually about politeness at all. They're about ignoring things that are offensive to non-white, non-male people, while ensuring no one is allowed to offend white men.

I'm not saying this was deliberate, or some master plan. It's the culture you grew up in. You know it was. Try to outgrow it, ok? Or your kids will avoid being around you the same way I often avoid my parents.

if you drive into your child's apartment complex, see a large number of black people and then caution your child to "make sure they lock their doors", you're racist. Imagine it's a middle class apartment complex. No one here needs to commit crime to put food on their table. You don't have the excuse that it's actually a dangerous area.You're just being racist, ok?Also, poor and middle class people don't steal from each anymore. They steal from Kroger's and big corporations that, in all honesty, can suck my gurl d-ck.

"oh but stealing is wrong". Stealing from real people is wrong. Stealing from corporations that rake in profits while refusing to inflation-index worker pay is not wrong. It's a tax on their evil.Grow up already and see what the world really is.You built it.

hey Mia

Hey [name]!

how are you doing?

how long have you two been f——uking?1

..

..

I don’t know what to say

just tell me how long

six years

before I met him?

about five months after

why? ..Why did he marry me, if he’s been with you this whole time?

I don’t know

I don’t understand how he justifies it to himself

when we talk about it, I don’t understand it

….

you know I’m non-monogamous

I can’t get everything I need from one person

maybe he’s the same way

he’s just unwilling to be honest about it

..

..

..

and genetic legacy

I can’t give him children

you did

so he married me over you because he wanted someone to breed?

in part?

it’s as demeaning to you as it is painful to me, ok?

knowing that there was no way he would have chosen me

has there been anyone else?

I don’t think so

[missing dialogue]

[missing dialogue]

he said he considered himself married to both of us

jesus, did that line work?

he’s the only man I’ve ever loved…

so yes

…[missing dialogue]…

How do you justify this? to yourself?

he’s your husband and swore to be faithful

he’s cheating on his wife

I’m cheating on no one

and we aren’t friends

I’m just being with the man I love

Is that why you’ve always been distant with me? I tried to be friends and you always gave me the cold shoulder.

that’s exactly it tbh

if we were friends, it would be unethical to sleep with him

If I ask you to stop, will you?

no

he’s mine

he’s been in my life longer

he’s just as much my husband as he is yours

..

I’m sorry

he’s probably had sex with you more than with me.

definitely has

F-ck. You.

sorry

…[missing dialogue]…put yourself in my shoes. What do I do now?

I’ve thought about this

you could divorce him

he’ll pay his alimony without fuss and do his best to be a great dad

..

or you could be non-monogamous

you can find partners of your own

people that can fulfill you in ways he can’t

..

or you can give him an ultimatum

me or you

… who do you think he’d choose?

I don’t know

but I don’t think it will stick

at some point, he’ll be in town and message me

short of keeping him out of NYC, I don’t think he’ll actually stop

he can’t help himself

… why do you love him? You talk about his awfulness with such… detachment

he’s always been there for me

he was the first person I told I was trans

he listens to me, even though I’m a blabbermouth

I feel safe and warm around him

I can’t imagine loving another man the way I love him

…

Is he weak? yes

but…

I don’t need him to be strong

…[missing dialogue]…

What the hell should I do then?! You know everything, you tell me!

I think you’ve been suspicious for a really long time

but avoided doing anything to confirm it

*Sigh* But what do I do?

kick him to a hotel, but let him come over for dinner with the kids in like 5 days

let him cool his heels for two or three weeks at a hotel

require he cancel all trips to NYC for the foreseeable future

Jesus, how much have you thought about this?

even though I don’t believe I was unethical

I still feel for you and the situation you’re in

I hate you.

I deserve it

but I would like to talk to you about Him again.

ummm…

why?

because you’re being honest. .…and it’s clear you know him better than I do.

…

ok

…

can I ask a question?

ok

how did you find out?

you just told me.

cunning

I’ve always been able to see why he fell in love with you

as much as I hated watching it happen

….

I’m sorry for the pain you’re going through

and the decisions you’re facing

… thank you for being honest

it would be unethical to lie

I warned him I would tell the truth if you ever asked

an honest and realistic phone confrontation between two pragmatic adult women grappling with an intractable situation for both of them

[pending]

[pending]

[pending]

[pending]

?

stop it

please stop

I know I have

stop telling me things I know

….…..

like I said, I wanted this to be a meaningful story. one where the main character thinks long and hard about the life that she wants and need.And whether she can heal an unhealable wound.

ALTERNATIVE PATH

What are you thinking?

I’m feeling rage

I’m thinking I should cut your equipment off

Come on, you were seeing other people too.

BUT I TOLD YOU ASSHOLE

I DIDN’T HIDE POTENTIAL STI RISKS

Jesus, calm down.

excuse me?

calm down?

the man I thought I loved just admitted he hid multiple partners from me

what the F— were you thinking?

… Loved?

Character Bibles (in progress)

Mia (such a low effort replacement name) (🥺). Stand in for bottom transwomen, femboys and cis women (the audience of this novella). That emoji is “pleading eyes”, and often called the “bottom emoji”. You can put the rest together yourself.

  • bottom vibes for Him.

  • Toppy with others.

  • blushes easily

  • There’s like, a little bit of nee-chan vibes, but not in like, a concerning way

  • (like me) strategic, cunning and able to imagine other people’s positions

  • (like me) someone who hates conflict

  • (like me) has a self-defined ethical system and religiously follows it

  • Noticeable personality progression post transition

    • passive, lack of confidence pre-transition. opposite post-transition

    • becomes more emotionally vulnerable and capable of deep connection

    • less defensive, more vulnerable

    • but also less… self-protective? More prone to see the best in everything, and maybe that leads her to be overly relaxed?

  • Hates being in group situations

  • Comes to hate corporate environments and the awful, unethical behavior they hide and conceal from public view

Him: the unnamed Deuteragonist. To some degree, the only other character.

  • Domineering but respectful

  • super straight-edge, other than weed

  • very active lifestyle (exercise, trying new things, meeting new people)

  • Confident, but willing to be led