#ontheaftermath

The worst part about waking up from a manic episode is the fear

It’s the fear that really makes recovery painful—

  • fear that I destroyed my own life;

  • fear that I’ll never regain my drive and motivation;

  • fear that I’ll relapse;

  • fear that I won’t ever feel as good as I did while I was manic;

  • fear that I am permanently broken inside;

  • fear that my career is over;

  • fear that I won’t find a new career;

  • fear that I’ll be alone because of my disorder; and

  • fear at facing all of the things I did while I was manic.

When I broke down, my view of the world collapsed around me. Everything induces some degree of fear in me.

I’m scared.

But I know I’m not alone.

This too shall pass.