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#ontheaftermath
The worst part about waking up from a manic episode is the fear
It’s the fear that really makes recovery painful—
fear that I destroyed my own life;
fear that I’ll never regain my drive and motivation;
fear that I’ll relapse;
fear that I won’t ever feel as good as I did while I was manic;
fear that I am permanently broken inside;
fear that my career is over;
fear that I won’t find a new career;
fear that I’ll be alone because of my disorder; and
fear at facing all of the things I did while I was manic.
When I broke down, my view of the world collapsed around me. Everything induces some degree of fear in me.
I’m scared.
But I know I’m not alone.
This too shall pass.