#onbrainchemistry

For the past three days, existing has hurt. Quite literally. I feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and angst. Nothing I’ve done matters. Nothing I do will matter. I’m a meaningless speck drifting in the universe.

This is true, in a sense. We are ephemeral beings in an effectively immortal universe. We can make predictions billion of years out; ones that we, and potentially no human, will ever be alive to see.

On the other hand, this is an incredibly bleak perspective to take. We are alive, as are the people around us, and everyday matters. We exist together and build our lives together and weave stories and music together.

I am still getting my brain chemistry under control and learning about this disorder that has been affecting me for a long time. The last three days have been very painful, and I’m sure I will face painful days ahead.

No pain, no gain right?

Right?