This is now a romance substack

Hang with me as I write my first novella (1/4)

People keep telling me I could make money writing romance/erotica. Sounds fun to me!

This might take months to finish. And I’d like to publish at least one creative piece a month, so we’re going to have more fun here (if you like the mechanics of writing). I’m going to release drafts (this is 1/4) and include my character bibles and commentary on what I’m doing and why.

If you don’t care, no worries! These are the commentary blocks, just skip by em.

Ok, the concept:

  1. trans-femme protagonist

  2. realistic characters and situations

  3. emotionally impactful plot developments and character development

  4. steamy af

  5. at least 10+ years pass in time

  6. precise jabs at awful tropes/standards in other romance literature

Mia (such a low effort replacement name) (🥺). Stand in for bottom transwomen, femboys and cis women (the audience of this novella). That emoji is “pleading eyes”, and often called the “bottom emoji”. You can put the rest together yourself.

  • bottom vibes for Him.

  • Seems toppy with others.

  • blushes easily

  • There’s like, a little bit of nee-chan vibes, but not in like, a concerning way

  • (like me) weird duality between a silly/adventurous person and a sharp/combative person.

  • (like me) an active decision maker who hates the responsibility and stress, and really wants to find someone she trusts to run more of her show

  • Noticeable personality progression post transition

    • passive, lack of confidence pre-transition. opposite post-transition

    • becomes more emotionally vulnerable and capable of deep connection

    • less defensive, more vulnerable

    • but also less… self-protective? More prone to see the best in everything, and maybe that leads her to be overly relaxed?

This an amalgam of stories, some mine, some others and some wholly fictional.

Best Friends

we met in law school, during orientation

we didn’t instantly hit it off, and I think I spoke to him once during the fall quarter

I also wasn’t open about liking dudes, so that wasn’t in my mind

and then we sat next to each in Civil Procedure

since that’s a super boring topic, we talked a lot

and by the end of the year, we were best friends

we spent hours together every day

at school, and then on Discord in the evening

and one day we were at my study carrel

and he lent over me to use my mouse and show me something

and I…

saw him in a different light 😈

….

he smelt really good (if you know what I mean)

simple and succinct drop-in. Mia gives us a story background, initial setting and our first romantic plot point. We get a little hint of her romantic and sexual personality too. I'm proud of tying them all in organically! Do y'all think "Best Friends" is a good title? It feels maybe too cheesy? But I mean, it's the romance market. I'll probably change it dozens of times.

hey dude! Sorry I took so long to get on Discord, was trying to cook a good dinner for once lol

What were you making?

That chicken curry you recommended. Good recommendation.

Did you use a sous vide?

why do you want me to buy a sous vide so bad?

Dude, it’s the best. Cook a week of chicken.

thanks r/fitnessadvice

*laughingly* Shut up, dude.

[big smile]

so when do you wanna hit the gym this week?

I was planning to do MWF. Back and core on Monday.

I’ll skip Monday and join you for the rest.

Dude, it’s unhealthy to not work your back and core.

yeah yeah yeah… fine I’ll come Monday.

Nice. You’ve been coming a lot more recently.

*blushing*

Dunno. Just really wanted my body to feel healthier. Get more flexible, too.

I’m glad! The gym is always more fun if you’ve got a workout partner.

Yeah it’s lot a fun.

You’re definitely showing some results too! The squats are really paying off.

*blushing*

Really?

Yeah it’s definitely noticeable, dude.

Well I gotta keep going then!

I thought this was a fun starting piece: we're going to watch a friendship relationship evolve over time.This is based on interactions I had with a friend in law school, except I didn't have a crush on him. He was hot, and I probably would have been down to clown at least once, but definitely not my type in the long-term. Definitely not. Note that the primary character is being referred to as dude. That's because she hasn't transitioned yet.

[expect a ton of empty space with big chronological gaps]

hey dude. can we talk about something serious?

I really need someone to talk to

Of course. Should I come over?

I would really like that

I think I’m trans

Oh. OH.…When did you know?

always? one month ago?

depends on how you look at it

Do you mind telling me more about?

*smiling*

I would really love to. Thank you, dude.

Anything for yo—

Have you chosen a name?

Mia

Anything for you, Mia.

he's so sweet and supportive right? That's because I want you to fall for him, too, and see him the way she does.This one is super unfinished. Needs to be expanded by at least 10 more lines.

need at least 5 scenes in between

Hey Mia, how’s your day going?

It’s been great! My back has been killing me though.

*stretches and thereby thrusts boobs forward*1

how is yours going?

Honestly?

of course!

Really terrible.

oh… let’s go to an empty conference room and talk about it?

if you want to

I do. ..Thank you.

anything for you, dude

I just feel overwhelmed here. Everything looks effortless for you.

How do you do that? How can you smile all the time?

I’m pretending

I don’t know if I have a better grip on everything going on

but I fake it a lot better than you

How? How can you smile and act so at ease?

because women are used to men watching us all the time

fortunately for me, I enjoy being watched

so I put on a little show and hope they'll give me what I want

Seriously?

that’s how it is

… I’m sorry that that’s how things are.

you’re not exempt either, dude

Yeah, but I don’t have to make nearly as many compromises.

you’re underestimating the number of compromises you’re making

The two scenes above and the two below were where I started. I wanted to establish the friendship, then introduce the romantic element. Also social commentary. Also hawt stuff.

[MISSING BRIDGE]

Ah. Ohhh. Oh wow!! I’m so oblivious….

you are. but in a cute way

Would you still want to?

DUH!!! I’ll close the curtains

this meeting room has the best noise cancelling

Here?!

what’s the worst that could happen? they fire you?

you hate it here

Can you be quiet?

I can definitely try to be quiet

(whispers to self) …this is so hot… shirt…

Let’s do it.

hawt afyou've never wanted to bone in the middle of the day in a meeting room at work?so hawtI'm so proud of that "try to be" line. Vocal partners are the best partners. Everyone knows that.

even the sex scenes are drop-ins. This is romance; I'm letting the readers imagine for themselves what foreplay led up to this moment.

gentle!! you’re hitting my breast buds

stay on top of the nipple or squeeze near the base. nothing in between

Sorry! I didn’t know it would hurt! ......Wait, what are breast buds?

[fondling resumes]

*quiet cooing noises*

..

wait… what???

[fondling intensifies]

*ooooh (breathily)*

you jackass

..

promise not to stop?

Promise.

ok so when women undergo puberty

*AHH*

they grow breasts, right?

You lost me.

screw you dude

..

wait, why did you stop?

You’re being a little hostile…

omg seriously!?

Apologize please

(sarcastic) omg I’m so sorry, please forgive me

now will you pl—

*moan followed by muffled laughter*

Thank you for apologizing.……………

uh.hh.h.hhhhhuaaa-oooo?

You’re welcome!

Robert Heinlein (one of the most influential sci-fi writers of all time) did this sort of ellipses storytelling (see, e.g., Stranger in a Strange Land). I really like it. It lets the reader fill in the gaps with their own theories and fantasies. I also like the way it pops up somewhat unexpectedly. Re-focuses the reader.It's weird that few modern writers use it as a writing device. I think modern literature is too obsessed with telling "the entire story".

She got a job in SF, so we’re moving. Management already signed off on me transferring.

when?

Three weeks.

Never over-write perfect scenes

I’ve got the app set up and linked with the vibrator. All ready to go.

Is it in yet?

uhhh… almost

… oooh…

*panting* hooh oo hoohoo

phew

ok, it’s in

….

are you ther——

waaahhhttttttheeeeefucccccc!???!

Gotcha!

turrnnnnnitttdownnnnnowww!!

I’m think I’m going to leave it on for a minute or two.

Grunt twice if you want me to stop.

*tentative grunt*

..

..

..

..

..

..

goooohighherrrr!

Dirty little slut.

oooohhhhyessssss

……..……..

when are you going to be in town next?

I think in a few weeks.

do you want to stay here?

I do.

That scene was taken from my own life, but I was the person with the app.Do you like how I'm writing sex dialogue? Simulating the vibration, etc. to convey the intensity of the moment. People underappreciate the degree to which form can enhance content.Again, I write massive time gaps into the scene. I want the reader to fill in those gaps themselves.

that was fast!

Mia!? Why would you point that out?! I was pent up! I haven’t had sex in over a month. Of course I was fast the first time!

dude, I’m just teasing! I know all of that

Mean teasing.

awwwwwww poor boy

Did you…?

no

Ughhh I feel guity.

this was amazing in the way I enjoy these things

you know I’m not super into the big O!

As I expand this, I'll need to show post-transition personality developments. I think, here, I want them to have a broader conversation about sex, and what "good" sex looks like for each of them. That's the current concept, at least.

no clue where to place this scene. But I think it's a good scene/has great elements. It'll be used somewhere.

I can’t do this anymore. She’s going to find out.

she hasn’t yet

This isn’t who I am.

yes it is

you choose to do this

to do me

You’re right, ok? I can’t get you out of my head, I can’t focus at work, I can’t focus when I’m at home.

leave her

Excuse me?

be with me instead

You mean as a couple?

yes. as a couple…

How long have you felt like this?

when you left that conference early to… to…

To be there when your Dad passed.

yeah

I’m never sad when you’re here

….

..

I never brought it up because I didn’t mind sharing

she’s your West Coast wife and I’m your East Coast wife

We could have talked this sooner, regardless.

What about your partner?

we’ve talked about this

a triad works both of us

Not sure if I'm married to this partI need to decide whether He chooses the main character or his wife, and then come back to this, I think.

hey Mia, could I talk to you in the bedroom for a second?

Sure!

is everything ok?

How long has he been fucking you?

..

...

….

years

YEARS!?

it started about a year after my transition

How often?

omg He always stays with you when visiting the head office

… yeah

… *light sobbing* …

I was your friend. You dated my sister! How could you? To ME!?

I’m sorry

I’ve been with him longer

you took him from me

get out of my house, NOW

low effort "women fighting over men" dialogue. I'm going to rewrite this into something more mature and realistic.

how are you doing?

…I’m better than yesterday.

progress!

have you eaten yet today?

Stop trying to mom me.

dude, come on

Sorry.

is k

can I come visit next weekend?

No.

This is your fault, Mia.

I don’t want to see you.

don’t talk to me like that

you chose to be with me

for years

You pursued me. You made sure it could never end.

..

I chase what I want

you were receptive

We’ve been friends for years!

the way I feel changed

how is that not obvious, dude?

I’m on the phone right now trying to get you fed

..

you’re an asshole

Don’t guilt me into being ok with this.

stop assigning me all of the blame

Stop pretending this isn’t your fault.

I wanted to be with you

I don’t know what to say

That doesn’t make this ok.

do you…

do you still want to be with me?

?

I love him

what if he leaves and never comes back

he’s my best friend, too

I can’t lose him

….…..

like I said, I wanted this to be a meaningful romance story. one where the main character thinks long and hard about what sort of boundaries she's drawing. About what sort of person she's been, and what sort of person she wants to be.And whether she'll compromise out of fear of loss.