It Don't Work that Way No More

a guy i really like had interesting feedback

basically, he said “it looks like you have a masculine approach and a feminine approach colliding internally”

i.e. “he’s an adult, his choice” vs “concern about the emotional effect”

i honestly didnt think of that angle… but its a very valid read right?

….

i dont know what my stories mean to you unless you tell me

i only know what i want to communicate1

….

anyways, i ended the mommy roleplay2

i dont want that level of power over him

its not that it would have been unethical

i just dont want to mold an 18 y/o’s sexual identity

its too much responsibility

how many people do you know better than you know me?

the remix is way better than the original

how often do you see men wearing bright floral clothing?

floral = femme

also im cute in floral

how cute is my new jacket?

also i got that shadow perfect, right?

also also i bite my lip like, a lot

i haven’t successfully penetrated anyone in two years

i just don’t wanna anymore

and y’all know by now how much i love sex

….

at some point it started feeling not right

and then it started feeling wrong

i tried with the last girl i dated

couldn’t do it

she turned me on plenty

that dont

….

yeah, i tried with a guy recently too

same outcome

is this supposed to embarrass me?

why?

like, im not a man and my self-esteem isnt tethered to my junk

also, i have a great sex life

do you?

….

….

judge not lest ye be judged right?

i Ma’am hard3

ya caught me!

im trying out the California gurl accent (on here and irl)

so like, do you think it feminizes me?

….

i dunno if this one sells here, most of my followers are in the northeast and south

it sells irl if i dont overdo it?

…

for writing purposes: “like” and “?” and implied lilts at the end of sentences

irl: same thing except the lilt isn’t implied

plus some presentation i do not yet have the words to explain

ive been pretty foggy over the past week and a half

feels like my short-term memory has given up

im constantly walking into rooms 10 feet away and forgetting why

anyways i was talking to a friend

and she was like “so you have pregnancy brain”

and i was like “??”

and she was like “yeah, women’s hormones do crazy things during pregnancy and lot of them report experiences like what you’re describing. makes sense it happens to transitioning women too”

i dont have a punchline here, im just annoyed

like, how long am i going to be super ditzy for?

(i was already ditzy, this just makes it ridiculous)

i felt like when i said “i sing”, you didn’t appreciate the meaning

voice tools is the app

pretty cool and free

this is my singing voice tho

my speaking voice isnt used to that pitch

also changing your pitch doesnt change your vocal presentation

thats where the vocal therapy comes in!!!

did you notice the weird thing?

i dont have a falsetto

or at least i dont have falsetto break

why do you read me?

is it the shock value?