Candy Bars

its hard to look innocent when i got white chocolate all over my face and shit

I like girls

They like me

They look so good in their tight leggings

Want you to be the one

And my only

I want to be faithful

But I can't keep my hands off them candy bars

My hands, my hands, my haha, my hands

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my ha—, my

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my ha—, my

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my hands off them candy bars

You see I got this problem

I need help trying to solve it

'Cause girl after girl

And I'm still a candy-holic

You can hide 'em, I'ma find 'em

On the counter, in the closet

And I'll say I ain't do it

With my face covered in white chocolate

My girl be setting booby traps

To catch me savoring Scooby Snacks

I left crumbs in the bed once

But I told her I was through with that

She still don't be believing me

And I guess that I'm cool with that

But I got a sweet tooth

That'll never come loose

And the fact of the matter is

I like boys

They like me

They look so good in their Levi Jeans

Want you to be the fun

And my hors-ey

I want to be faithful

But I can't keep my hands off them candy bars

My hands, my hands, my ha-ha, my hands

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my ha, my

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my ha, my

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my hands off them candy bars

I got a thing for Milano biscotti Italianos1

And I'll never turn down some Oreos if you got them

Butter pecan Puerto Rican

Or them oatmeal raisin Asians

Hazelnut Brazilians, macadamia Caucasians

Double Stuff or Thin Mint

It don't matter, you gettin' it

'Cause I got a sweet tooth

That'll never come loose

And the fact of the matter is

I like everyone

They like me

They look so good in their sexy things

Want you to be the one

And my only

I want to be faithful

But I can't keep my hands off them candy bars

My hands, my hands, my haha, my hands

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my ha—, my

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my ha—, my

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my hands off them candy bars

I'm a monster for these mars bars

I'm a beast for their treats

An animal for their crackers

Head to feet, they so damn sweet

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my huh—uh, my

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my hands off them candy bars

And there you have it

I tried my best

I went to Candy Anonymous

I guess I'm a failure

I can't seem to keep my damn hands off those candy bars, but

It is what it is

ima do ethically non-monogamous relationships from now on

what, we never claimed to be perfect people

weve done unethical shit too

as myles would say, “I’m only human.”

am i weird al yet? is there a lvl up system?