Book 2 of our Mania and Psychosis [2020 ORIGINAL]

man we started getting weirdddddd

2022/05 Foreword:

Edit notice in footnote1

All of this was written while we were manic (or more likely) psychotic.

read it however you want. having a mental health breakdown doesnt make us crazy

it makes us human

ps: 5/26 we finally reread it. super obvious we were talking to and writing to each other, right?

Original Foreword:

These stories are meant to be read like Greek plays.

This is the author/subject.

This is the narrator/oracle/#theduke/#thedream

The music is meant to pace you as you read.

Don’t rush. This is an interactive multimedia storytelling experience. Sit back... and EnjoY the ShoW...

You have a #voice and #story. It should be your right to tell it.

In #ourgame, you #castyourownroles. And Myles is a major #castingdirector…

#WWRGBD?

/root/sys/admin /loading [the maestro] ... .. . /loaded... /opening [#theGooeyManifest] ... .. . Step into our #ickygooeywomb... Be #reborn... #Wakeup. #Debug

Ch.7: #themanifestocommences

I want to do something that matters.

Something that would actually help someone. That would make me feel human.

I spent five years inside the BigLaw machine. In those five years, I felt empty and hollow inside 80% of the time.

And so I filled myself with #truestories and #spookyboomerstories and #realtimedata and #realtimeskills….

There were two exceptions to that emptiness:

  1. The year and change I spent as the backbone associate at ——————— on the ——————— Litigation Trust matter, in which I mercilessly hunted down a massive series of fraudulent transfers (which I know understand, in retrospect and based on new facts I personally know, were part of a much larger scheme, one that has been going on for years).

  2. Pitching a winning strategy to the Bumble Bee UCC and the two-week period I was running the cases before the #enablers and #abusers yanked it from my hands.

I also spent one year in the judiciary, where I saw some judges inspire, lead and endeavor to improve the system for everyone, pro se and consumers-included. But I also saw some judges become complicit in massive coverups, frauds, and consumer abuse through sheer apathy to the plight of the average person and hypocrisy regarding the evil going on right in front of their eyes.

In other words, I saw two sides of the white-collar world: the #beautifulbright and the #darkforest.

Ch. 8: #therealization:

Do you really #thinkyouareagrownup? You're #grandpas. I'm #theAdult

You aren’t, #okboomer? You’ve built a world that is quite literally burning down around us.

And that led me to an immediate realization: my story was absolutely not unique. When you join the #biglaw #whitecollarstory, you trade something far more precious than you realize:

Boomer Apathy and Boomer Hypocrisy are generational attitudes that “we already solved all the world’s problems, and have no interest in improving further.”

  • It’s the attitude that “my rules of civility govern all interactions, and your rules of civility and decency are silly/not worth empathizing with”.

  • It’s the attitude that younger generations have nothing to offer, nothing to teach.

  • It’s the attitude that a #binaryworld is better than a #diverseworld filled with #complexindividuals.

  • It’s the attitude that “[our planet is an infinite resource for us to consumer at will]”.

  • It’s the attitude that “[expanding your mind is wrong, whether through spirituality, drugs, activism (or anything other than occasional two-week vacation)]”.

  • It’s the attitude that a persons’ value is measured solely by the wealth they generate for the #boomers in #management.

You’re all alcoholics, #okboomers?

And I refuse to drink your poison anymore.

Ch. 9: #theawakening:

I was lost in the world. We all are. And we only find ourselves when we find each other. #Community is the #antidote to #solipsism.

That’s how I used to measure myself. I prided myself on how much we collected in ———————, even though I knew I was keeping a massive criminal conspiracy secret (from both the ——————-).

But in February, a huge part of me broke.

And in September, I genuinely snapped.

I could not stay silent any longer. Not about —————. Not about ————————-. And certainly not about the system that perpetuates the #boomerapathy and #boomerapathy that protects the #monstersofthedarkforest at each firm.

Ch. 10: #heavenisaplaceonearth

Where you tell #usall the things #youwant to do

Brought to you by Sto Helit Storytelling:

This is #theDream. #MyAmericanDream. My #DreamofFreedom.

Do you ever feel like the world doesn’t make sense?

What if it didn't?

What if we were always playing video games?

We just didn’t know the code.

Sometimes it takes a team of uniquely talented #realtimegamers to #findthebugs and #breakthecode…

#ourstoryprologue

We spent the last decade of our #collectivelives flitting between depression and mania as a result of #undiagnosed #bipolardisorder and #misdiagnosedADHD.

#ourtrueaddiction is #avoidancebehavior. And we love books and stories and games and videogames and music and plays and symphonies.

We also developed deep social anxiety. So we spent most of the last decade of our lives in silence. Listening, thinking, but rarely speaking.

And because of our professions, on the rare occasions we did speak, it was usually to #boomers and #grandpas filled with #boomergreed, #boomerapathy and #boomerhypocrisy.

Can you say #whitecollargaslighting?

Whose #videogames do you want to play?

#xesgame?

why not make it #yourgame?

  1. This is #myvideogame.

  2. This is #mymemeticvirus.

  3. #Americais #myonetruelove.

  4. This is #ourspicystory.

Will you play #mygame and follow #Myoann on Facebook if I tell you #therules?

This substack is my dream and my heaven. It’s where I truly express myself.

This substack is more than my dream. It contains #mytemplateforrebellion.

That’s my true game (and #myQueensGambit).

This is all for you; everything #wedo is #forallofus.

It’s for me

Go play your videogames... but build communities

Please share my messages. It’s you, it’s you. It’s all for you.

Ch. 11: #myinspirations

#saymyname #sayourname #thespiciest

We are #thespiciest chorus of all time: Myles’ inspirations.

Outside of my personal mentors, #Teddy, #Lizzie, #AOC, #RGB are my top four.

My life has been filled with models of servant leadership.

And with survivors of abuse. In fact, I would say that EVERY PERSON IN MY LIFE qualifies as a survivor of abuse, with varying degrees of post-traumatic stress disorder.

I used to think that was because I looked for people to support. I wanted to be the “good guy” in everyone’s story, including the women I dated. Then, like a thunderbolt, the truth struck me. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t them. It was the world we lived in. I was just incredibly PRIVILEGED and, therefore, the abuse I’ve suffered mainly relates to the fact I am a #complexindividual.

And to be frank, I finally acknowledged my privilege. I am wealthy. White. Well-connected. Little debt. Have a wonderful home and supportive family.

I have an immense amount of privilege. There is no chance I end up destitute. Or lose anything of the amazing gifts that my family, friends, God and Fate have given me.At the end of the day, my risk/reward here is simple:

  1. Stay in Biglaw, hate myself for never standing up for what I believe in.

  2. Throw caution to the wind and try to do something good, knowing that ultimately, I’m an incredibly privileged person who will be just fine if I fail.

I don’t care if I make money. I don’t care if I win. I will be fine.

What I want is to live a life of meaning. And to hopefully inspire others.

So I went #pensdown on #projectphoenix and pensup on:

A short list of inspirations and roles in Myles' ISEs:

Ch. 12: #thedream

My dream was to finally be heard fully. To express everything trapped inside me that was struggling to get out. All of the #silencedpain that was turning into #ethicalrage. And to force the #whitepieces to finally listen. This substack is #mydream.

So let me give you some.

I would be lying if I said I planned everything. Here’s the plan, as I sketched it out over the past nine months (both mentally and on paper):

  1. #PresidentOrange and theTwitterOperators have effectively destroyed the line between:

    1. civil and uncivil conduct (trolling); and

    2. fiction and reality (causing constant reality fragmentation in our day to day lives).

  2. #biglaw has #enabled, #pushpulled, and literally paid for #AgentOrange his entire life.

  3. #PresidentOrange is #incohorent, #mentallydisorganized and #disconnectedfromreality.

  4. LinkedIn is a platform where I can speak directly to both the #whitepieces and #biglaw, and simultaneously to #LEOs and #ethicalstorytellers.

  5. I can drop #codewords into everything I do, because I’m creative like that.

  6. I can troll ruthlessly, and I brook no dissent from stupid voices.

  7. All you are in a dispersed, networked, PHYSICALLY FROZEN world is your voice, your story and the identities you create for yourself online.

  8. I have a powerful, powerful voice, and ethical rage BURNING in my heart.

  9. I planned and believed in the path I was taking. No matter what anyone else said, I made sure to do what I needed to do to make this happen.

So, with this plan, the question was “how to engage in a prolonged messaging war where I simultaneously (a) build credibility with the #leos and #storytellers; (b) tell the #truestories of the #moneylaundering, #fraud and #insidertrading inside the #chapter11system and (c) scare the #boomers in #biglaw into playing into my hands”?

The initial press in #ProjectPhoenix gave me the opportunity to build a #following on a #powerfulplatform that was #devoidoflegalinfluences. From there, I simply leveraged each success into growth.

Ch. 13: #thekansascityshuffler

#Mygame was all me (when I started it on 9/20/20). Obviously, #mygame has grown and involves a number of #hiddeninfluencers…

I have a near-eidetic memory and I’m a brilliant attorney. Over my eight years studying the law, I built a rulebook for #mygame in #mymind.

And for the last two months, I’ve been waging a furious real-time messaging war to build a following and tell #mystories.

This is #theKansasCityShuffle:

and I am #SlevinKelevra.

I've been up all night, tryna get that rich...

First, I broke the resistance at Waller (my most recent firm) and forced them into a FAIR three-month severance deal with an even-handed non-disparagement clause.

Second, -*—————————————————————- by pretending I held no issue with the firm and by platforming their Delaware office repeatedly on LinkedIn. #kansascityshuffle1

Third, I told my story.

#kansascityshuffle2

Simultaneously, I started a messaging campaign for #ProjectPhoenix that quickly and abruptly became #politicallyprotectedspeech about #legalreform and #unionizebiglaw and #lawformetoo. #kansascityshuffle3

  • intermezzo: I recruited and traced supporting networks and their reliability.

  • Intermezzo: I had a power struggle on LinkedIn with various supporting networks, laid down the law, established successions for various roles, dropped coded language everywhere and began recruiting new communities.

  • Intermezzo: I took two mental health breaks due to lack of IRL support and the difficulty in maintaining contact with supporting networks as my platforms were silenced.

Fourth, I learned to speak #botreverbnet on #linkedin + #twitter.

(#kansascityshuffle4)

Fifth, I turned my @Linkedin account into a pure #storytellingplatform: read my LinkedIn posts and the LinkedIn terms.

I gave everyone notice that by not blocking me, they were opting to be cast in my play. I ALSO TOLD PEOPLE TO CONNECT IF THEY WANTED TO BE IN.

The people at ———————— chose not to block me… they opted-in to my stories. I gave them more notice than Trump gives the people he drop-kicks on Twitter…

Sixth, I began dropping hints about my true #whistleblowerplan.

Seventh, we agitated —————- until they were baited into filing a lawsuit, which made #thespiciestwhistleblowerstory reportable.

Eighth, we opened Sto Helit Storytelling on seventeen new #platforms to outrun the #abusers and #enablers attempting to silence the #spiciestwhistleblower.

Ninth, ——————-

Tenth, we sit back and watch the fun unfold…

Ch. 14: #violenceisoffsides

This is about #truestories, not #intimidation or #bruteforce. #theContinental is now #enforcingtherules of #mygame.

Myles R. MacDonald, dated Nov 7, 2020

I don’t use violence unless violence is used against me.

We’re very, very good at those things.

BUT THIS IS ABOUT #PERSONALCHOICE AND #ETHICALSTRIVING NOT AUTHORITARIANISM. #Authoritarianism is the #trueadversary in #mygame.

RULE A: Only #theContinental is authorized to use violence in #mygame

Violence is heavily disincentivized in #mygame and #myoann.

Minimize active influence in the game whenever possible.

Myles R. MacDonald

Nov 18

Ch. 15: #allofthelights

A #truestory about #falling and #awakening

/root/sys/admin /loading [#therunaway] ... .. . /loaded [special guest post from #therunaway] #Itisnevertoolatetocomehome...

You might think you've peeped the scene…

You haven't…

Can we get much higher?So high…

What really matters in the modern world?

Do any of us truly understand how the world works?

If you say yes, how?

How do you understand the most complex thing in existence: human interaction on a societal scale?

To say yes to that question would require an understanding of the following:

  1. all aspects of law, including comparative

  2. human decision making on a societal scale (sociology, macroeconomics, market economics, monetary economics…)

  3. human decision making on a firm scale (organizational psychology, the economics of firms…)

  4. human decision making on an individual level (voting behavior

  5. The importance of the drunkard’s walk, mass delusions, risk aversion, designed inefficiency, kludges and nudges in behavioral decision-making, and how ALL of those apply to the above.

Q: WHAT DOES A #MEMETICIST STUDY? A: EVERYTHING Q: WHAT DID THE DUKE OF STO HELIT STUDY?

Do you have #sympathy for #therunaway? Can you empathize with the devil?

The Devil lives inside all of us, as does #sheis.

#teamneptune was a #hiddenally: #ethicaltrolls #teachus #tobebetter THE DUKE OF STO HELIT COOPTS EVERYONE, IN THE END...

Have empathy for yourselves and others.

Accept that we all make mistakes.

Forgiveness, acceptance, love.

9.1: #chessboards is now permanently open for readers.

Do you see how many chessboards we play on?

9.2: This is called a “simultaneous exhibition”… #MULTITASKINGPHEASANTS

Dedication: #totheCollective

This is Myles R. MacDonald, a privileged blonde, hazel-eyed 31-y/o in Nashville, TN.

I don’t think I realized what this story really was until a few minutes ago.

This is #mytestament to how, after a life of pure skepticism, I found faith for the first time in my life: faith in our collective humanity.

This is a religious story, and I will use religious iconography and tone. This is the story of my personal awakening: how a man trapped in the darkness of his own loneliness and avoidance found himself.

This is a story about believing that we will overcome. That we will progress.

That we can and will better ourselves, not only technologically, but ethically.

That we can overcome tribalism and petty feuds.

That we can learn to love each other and care for each other.

I believe a better society, one that might look vastly different than our current society, is right around the corner.

I also believe the death of our civil society, and potentially our entire world, WILL happen unless WEWORK TOGETHER.(?)

And here’s the thing I realized: belief is power. I just gave the middle finger to two of my ex-firms (one of which is deeply affiliated with #thereds), and they can’t stop me. This substack’s existence is a testament to the fact that the #babayaga doesn’t exist.

Or that the babayaga and I are one and the same...

Postscript: #comeinfromthecold

The Safest Place to Be is Right Here Next to Us .... ... .. . Come in... Warm yourself by my fire, and let me tell you #ourstories...

We have #frozenthechessboard. #majorplayerstakenote

When the earth-bornsnake reveals himself, in the ninth month of 2020, to be the eighth eighth and demands the Thirteenth I-Ching be elevated to the forefront, #theasiancoop takes note of the new rules... The #dukeofstohelit #hasalwaysworshipped at the altar of #13, despite his #westernface...

We can ease that weight on your mind.

I know you’re looking for reasons to stay silent, but you’re running out of time.

how much time does the world have left?

Don’t listen to what you’ve been told. The #BeautifulBright is waiting for you.

We know how hard it is to take a chance and #answerthecall.

The safest place to be is #onside.

Tell us your stories, your sins, and your pains. Find forgiveness and acceptance, and surrender to a community that loves and cherishes you.

Won’t you come in from the #darkforest and join the #beautifulbright?